Parenting Info
Parenting Info
Important Parenting Information and Some Tips:
From Liberated Parents Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family, (Faber and Mazlish, 1990)
• “The most precious gift we can give a child is a positive and realistic self-image. (p. 54). This
is why positive praise is so important.
• “The best long-range protection against damaging criticism is a strong self-image. The child
who thinks well of himself will recover more quickly from an attack than the one who is already
filled with doubt and self-hatred “ (p. 62).
• “Treat a child as if he is already what we would like him to become” (p. 69).
• Often, the greatest help to a child is the “parent’s willingness to stand by silently while the child himself works out his own solution” (p. 163).
From How to Raise Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence (Nagy & Nagy, 1999)
• Children cannot tolerate a condition of no attention. Pay positive attention to them. If they
cannot get positive attention, they will create situations whereby they get negative attention
because negative attention is preferable to no attention.(p. 22)
• The most important battles your children will have to fight are waged between their own two
ears. Throughout life, they will have to battle with their emotions and thoughts of prejudice,
anger, doubt, fear, desire, laziness, sorrow, boredom, and others. Prepare them for these battles.
Please encourage them to share their feelings, thoughts, troubles, and problems. That which we
talk about becomes smaller, somehow more manageable. (p. 71)
• “Your children need your presence more than your presents.” Jesse Jackson (p. 124)
• Teach children early to avoid justifying his/her mistakes. Do not ask them why they did what they did or prod them for excuses until you receive one you accept. Instead, ask, “What have you learned from this error?” (p. 138-39)
From Children: The Challenge (Dreikurs, 1964)
It is essential to remember that a misbehaving child is likely a discouraged child. Your words, tone of voice, and facial expressions can make your child feel discouraged. Therefore, being mindful of how you communicate with your child is important. Instead of taking over and doing things for them, encourage them to try again, even if they make mistakes. For example, when your child spills milk, remember that the loss of confidence is more significant than the loss of milk. By allowing your child to try again, you are helping them build their confidence and develop a sense of independence. So, the next time your child misbehaves, remember that your encouragement and support can significantly affect their self-image and overall well-being.
From Playful Parenting by Cohen 2001
1) Instead of punishing your child with a shameful time-out, why not try having a "meeting on the couch"? Sit next to your child and discuss the issues that are frustrating for both of you, you'll be able to build a positive relationship and a deeper understanding of each other's perspectives. This approach is a win-win for everyone involved. (p235)
(2) As parents, it's natural to want to tell our children what to do and what not to do. However, constantly dictating their actions and choices can have negative consequences. When we don't give them the space to think for themselves, they are left with no option but to obey begrudgingly or rebel defiantly. By encouraging independent thinking and decision-making, we can help our children become confident and capable. (p24)
TV & Aggression
“Because of their difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality, preschool and young school-age children are likelier to imitate TV violence. In addition, aggressive children have a greater appetite for TV. As they watch more, they become increasingly likely to resort to hostile ways of solving problems, a spiraling pattern of learning that contributes to serious antisocial acts by adolescence and young adulthood” (Berk 2003, p 621).
An Interesting Brain Fact:
The prefrontal cortex specializes in “planning, selecting and coordinating thoughts” (Berger 2005, p201). “Advances in prefrontal cortex development occur at about ages 3 or 4, making control of impulses more likely and formal education more possible”. Before this time, perseveration, a tendency to persevere in a “thought or action even if it is useless or inappropriate,” was common. With prefrontal development, emotional regulation is possible, and temper tantrums, uncontrollable crying, and terrifying phobias subside (p 2).